Damn you Dallas!

Alright, there are 3 NFL teams that I despise. The Jets (Pats main rival), the Broncos (no real reason), the Cowboys (America's team my ass). I suppose the Raven's would be 4th on the hated teams list. Now, over the past 4 years, they have taken one of my all time favorite head coaches (Bill Parcells) and have drafted 2 Domers (Julius Jones and Anthony Fasano). I wish nothing but ill will on the Dallas Franchise. I sincerely hope the soon end up replacing the Niners and Texans as the laughing stock of the NFL. I want to be able to root for our players after graduation, but damn, when you join the evil that is the Cowboy's, its just crushing.

Unfortunately I can't come up with a good analogy for how I feel. The first thing I thought of was your girlfriend dumping you for another woman, but this really isn't that bad. It's more just really, really annoying.

I hate you Dallas.

Beggars and choosers

So as I mentioned in a previous post that I am no longer a 32 waist. I could probably rectify this little issue if I stopped drinking, but I really don't have time for rational solutions. Anyway, as such, there have been several clothing items that I have "outgrown" or simply shrunk in the wash ('cause hey, I'm a guy, and I don't do any "special" loads or "hand wash" garbage).

Now, I also must mention that I bought a couple pairs of boxer briefs a few months ago to give them a trial run. I've done the tighty wighties in the past, and they are far too constricting, but every now and then the boxers ride up a little and I end up giving myself a wedgie as I walk around during the day, so I decided it was time to try the boxer briefs. Unfortunately I did this after the waist expanded, but before I had acknowledged said change in my body. As such, the trial is still on going, but needs a slight alteration.

Now, as the boxer briefs are relatively new (by my clothes standards), and as I wash my clothes fairly consistently, the briefs are in decent condition. I also wipe myself thoroughly in order to prevent the shit stains in the underwear, because really, who wants to sit around in their own shit all day?

Now, if you're still reading this at this point, first, I'm impressed, and second, you're probably wondering where this is all going. Well, I have many clothes that are too small for me, however, I do believe in donating things I don't need to those less fortunate. My quandary is this: would it be somewhat uncouth to donate used underwear? I mean, the homeless and what have you need underwear right? In theory beggars can't be choosers, but in some ways this seems like it would be sort of a dick move. Sure pants, sweatshirts, and flannel are nice, but would donating underwear just be too much of a faux pas?

On a side note, I need to find a place to donate. In CT or IN there was always a big bin somewhere in a parking lot that you could just through things into. Of course in NYC, there are not big parking lots, and if there were a bin, someone would probably break into it before the charity could pick it up. This will probably be a weekend project.

Subway Etiquette and Yellow Rain

This is a public service announcement to those who take the subway. (There is probably only one person who reads this blog that even takes a subway, but whatever). During rush hour (which is like 80% of the time I'm taking the subway), you cannot walk one step into the train and stop in order to claim the "prime real estate" by the door. There are still 10 people behind you who need to get on this train and go to work. Also, this phenomenon only seems to occur with two people. Never does there seem to be just one person being a complete jackass, always two there are. As one of the subway riders who understands that one must move all the way into the train in order to let other people on, I get highly annoyed by this. Also, when one is coming to a stop, particularly a stop where there is a high volume of people both exiting and entering (i.e. Columbus Circle), you must be prepared to move quickly and allow those who were considerate of others getting on the train to get off.

Now allow this to be a warning to you. As considerate as I am to others who want to get on, I have no qualms about decking you to get off. IF you are retarded and have a peg leg, and you're my damn way, I will knock you over and finish what Darwin clearly started, and I can assure that I won't feel any guilt about it.


In other news, it rains urine in New York City. I discovered this early this week when I went to put on pants that I wore out in the rain Saturday night, and discovered odd yellow stains on the front of the pants. Needless to say I decided not to wear those to work. This got me thinking to back when I was a child and I wondered how God made it rain. My working theory (you know, when I was like 5) was that it was the angels peeing. (I think I may have had a more disturbed childhood than I initially realized.) Apparently 20ish years later, this theory seems to be finally (and unfortunately) holding some merit.

Fun Musical Blog Games

OK, I suppose I'm cheating because I'm advancing one song to start, but it was the song that was played last night, so it would normally be automatically skipped in this day’s rotation, so :-P.

Instructions:

Put your music player on shuffle.
Press forward for each question.
Use the song title as the answer to the question, even if it doesn't make any sense.


This was stolen from the likes of Kat and Lynn.

1. How am I feeling today? "Music was Saved" by Starsailor. – sure why not. I’ve discovered NY radio sucks, but internet radio is a beautiful thing.
2. Will I get far in life? "Freak" by Silverchair. – I got nothin’….
3. How do my friends see me? "Wichita Lineman" by R.E.M. – 173 lb lineman. Sure.
4. Where will I get married? "Popular" by Nada Surf. – What?
5. What is my best friend? "Hurricane" by Bob Dylan. - ...that wouldn’t have been my description
6. What is the story of my life? "25 or 6 to 4" by Chicago. – ok, I’ll buy that.
7. What was high school like? "Any Way You Want it" by Journey.
8. How can I get ahead in life? "Pink Houses" by John Mellancamp. Right……
9. What is the best thing about me? “Mayonnaise" by the Smashing Pumpkins. – Interesting….
10. What is today going to be like? "Flood" by Jars of Clay. – Well, it’s raining now, and it rained yesterday, and the day before that…
11. What is in store for this weekend? "Downfall" by Trust Company. – Oh, now that’s encouraging..
12. What song describes my parents? "Spiderwebs" by No Doubt. - Uh, sure, whatever.
13. To describe my grandparents? "Travelin’ Band" by Credence Clearwater Revival. – Uh, no.
14. How is my life going? "Berserker" by Love Among Freaks. – I have no idea.
15. What song will they play at my funeral? "Magical Mystery Tour" by the Beatles. – Get. More. Random.
16. How does the world see me? "The Everlasting Gaze" by the Smashing Pumpkins. – Fair enough.
17. Will I have a happy life? "Against The Wind" by Bob Seger. – Does this just mean I need to work for it?
18. What do my friends really think of me? "Keep on Rocking in the Free World" by Neil Young. – ok….
19. Do people secretly lust after me? "The End is the Beginning is the End" by the Smashing Pumpkins. – Apparently WinAmp is on a Pumpkins kick this evening…
20. How can I make myself happy? "We Will Rock" by Queen. – Does this mean I just kick the shit out of someone any time I’m feeling a little down?
21. What should I do with my life? "Kashmir" by Led Zepplin. – Does this mean I should start doing drugs or something?
22. Will I ever have children? "Ain’t No Crime" by Billy Joel. – Self Explanitory
23. What is some good advice for me? "In the Meantime" by Spacehog. – I don’t know, maybe?
24. How will I be remembered? "Coffee and Rice" by (the mp3 says Catch 22, I’m pretty sure that’s not accurate). – Since moving to NY I’ve sorta started to drink coffee, but I only eat rice when I order Chinese.
25. What is my signature dancing song? "One Week” by the Barenaked Ladies. - Sure…
26. What is my current theme song? "Rosalinda’s Eyes" by Billy Joel. - Ah, no.
27. What does everyone else think my current theme song is? "Elevation" by U2

Failure, seemingly. Success, not really. Random, exceedingly.

Leftovers

Things I didn't get to during the week.

Tuesday-ish I got a call from an actuarial recruiter asking me if I was still looking for a job. Uh, no dude, but can you answer a question for me? Where the hell were you 5 MONTHS AGO when I had a contract that was ending and no official job prospects lined up yet? Meh, I'll hang onto his number in case I want to try and go back to the actuary thing a year or so from now.

I saw a woman talking on a banana phone while I was walking around Morningside Heights Thursday evening. Unfortunately, I totally dropped the ball on taking a picture. The thought that I own a camera phone didn't even occur to me until I had walked like 30 feet past her, and I thought it would look a little strange to circle back, walk behind her for a few feet while I take the picture, and the walk ahead again, so you all are you just going to have to take my word for it.

I stumbled across this article about Penn State's women's basketball coach being allowed to continue coaching despite effectively forcing one of her players off the team because she was gay. Honestly, how can you do this is women's sports? Now, obviously not all female athletes are gay, but there does tend to be a higher than average percentage of lesbians competing in women's sports. Also, those that aren’t gay, I would also tend to think are pretty accepting of those that are. I mean this is a state school, how does this woman still have a job, and why would any girl want to play for her? I mean, if this was some sort of private conservative school, you might be able to see an argument for not firing her, but at a state school? Are you serious? I mean, even Notre Dame had openly gay basketball players on their women's team, and they call got along fine, and it's not like ND is the world's most accepting school.

Equal stalking opportunities.

...apparently no one thought that the muppet porn was comment worthy. Damn, I thought that was good one.

At any rate the real purpose of this post to let you know that I'm rolling out a few small modifications to this blog (in case for some reason you couldn't tell). More will be coming as I'm teaching myself JS at the moment, which should allow me to do some more fun things. Also, as you can see, I've added several new links to other blogs. If you fell like you have been given the shaft by not being included please let me know. I probably don't know you have a blog, so if you're just stalking me through my blog, I can't tell who you are, since you don't post. I'm averaging 20+ uniques per day, and usually don't have more than about 7 returning visitors, so please post a comment, and let me know your blog URL so we can all have equal stalking opportunities. Thank you.

Mupput porn and more!

Tonight I went to see Avenue Q with my cousin. Very funny. I highly recommend it. The only downsides were the guy to the left of my cousin and I who laughed just a bit to loudly, and a bit too far behind the jokes, along with the asshole who didn't turn of his (or her) cell which happened to go off during the second to last line of the show. At any rate, I think I'm going to have "Everyone is a little bit racist" stuck in my head all day tomorrow. Also, for those of you who were with me from the beginning of this blog, may remember "The Internet is for Porn" is also from this show. Unfortunately, my cousin is moving to LA in about a week, so I no longer have an easy connection to the theater, which means I will have to do things on my own.

Now, this also led me to the conclusion, that in order to see these shows, I may have to actually "date." Now we all know, that I'm really not the dating sort seeing how I've had 1 girlfriend and another girl I saw (...and by saw, I mean exclusively slept with for a 2 or 3 months) since the beginning of 2001 until now. Now there is also the issue that I have no desire to really date anyone exclusively, and this is about the only way I tend to date since the only way I can convince myself that the expense of dating is actually worth it. It's quite a conundrum. However, there are several shows I need to see, and they are in semi-alphabetical order:

Chicago
Rent
Spamalot
Spelling Bee
The Producers
Wicked

Ok, so those were in actual alphabetical order. There are a few others, but they're not on my must see list, they're on the "if I have time and I can get around to it" list. Actually, looking at, that's only 6 dates. That doesn't seem like it would be too awful. Of course, there's the whole who would I want to spend money on that’s not me issue, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I suppose I could start by crowbarring my way into the group of people at work who are actually social with each other. I suppose an easy way to start this would be to say good morning to people, but communicating to people in anything other than grunts prior to noon is a pretty difficult task for me. Of course the other motivation to get into this group is that the one girl in the office that intrigues me is part of this group. Good point would be that she isn't someone I would work with (always a potential problem in the intra-office relationship), bad point would be that she's ::gasp:: a Michigan alumnus, but whatever, several more months of reconnaissance must be performed before we seriously consider traveling down that road.


In other news, I got a new stove today. This means I now have a working oven, and a instead of cooking things on either high, or very high, there are low, medium, and high settings. Yay!

Thanks mom

So I get obligatory parental Easter phone call today. We talk about this, that and the other, and eventually we somehow get to the topic of clothes, and how I've needed to buy a lot of new pants as of late since I am unfortunately no longer a 32 waist. Anyway, the following exchange occurs:

Mom: "So, are you dressing like a New Yorker now?"

Me: "Uh, no." ::awkward pause:: "If I go out I still wear a t-shirt and jeans."

Mom: "Oh, that's too bad."

Me: "I mean, I'm a little dressed up if I go out after work..."

Mom: "I still picture you going out in a t-shirt, jeans, and wearing flannel."

Me: "Yeah, that's still pretty accurate, though it's been warm enough since I moved that I haven't needed the flannel."

She goes on to say I should look to see what my roommate wears in order to be more fashionable blah blah blah. Does my mother want me to dress gay? I mean, wtf? I dress comfortable. I own one pair of khakis, and one pair of black pants. That's all I need. As long as no visible dirt or stains appear on them, they can be worn day after day. I mean, if you go out to the bar and end up getting drunk and shit gets spilled all over you, do you want to be wearing your best clothes, or do you want to say, "meh, whatever, these pants probably should have been thrown out 2 years ago anyway."

Girls may like a sharp dressed man, but 9 times out of 10, they're not going to be the type of girl I'm interested in.

Karaoke

As hoped it treated me well. Since I'm blogging at this hour I obviously didn't bring anyone home (bummer), but that isn't really going to be a primary goal in NYC for some time I believe. The crowd was a little older than what I was hoping for (not that I mind a few cougars), and the song selections were very meh (I got spoiled in CT). However, I did get to meet some people, and I did enjoy myself. Let's up this is a good kickoff to week where I actually have plans already for 2 nights of the week already.


My karaoke performances - Light My Fire & Don't You Forget About Me.

My space

I resisted, I resisted, and I resisted some more. Then this weekend, I cruised around the myspace interface, and I hate to confess it, but it was pretty well set up. I am now considering actually creating my own account, despite the efforts I've made so long to avoid myspace trendiness. So, I am formally requesting outside arguments for and against myspace, as I decide how to waste my time next weekend.

Somewhere Jesus is crying

Say what you want about reality TV, but whoever came up with the concept of God or the Girl is a freaking genius. I'd feel bad about watching this, but I secured my place in hell years ago, and I don't think this will make any significant impression upon my location in it.

Official losses

It's been just over a month since I've moved, and I believe I have the finally tally on things that are lost, missing, or were stolen during the move.

They are:

A container that had probably $15 worth of quarters. I'm betting this was stolen by the movers. I can deal with this since the monetary value isn't that high, but its still real annoying because I had done such a damn good job of planning ahead for having to pay for laundry.

My 2 favorite video games: God of War and Tiger Woods Golf 2006. These hurt because they have a net value of about $100 (though God of War is now selling for less than half of what I bought it at). I'm not sure what happened to these. I don't know why they weren't packed with the rest of my DVD's and video games. I'm hoping I didn't accidentally throw them away by not thoroughly cleaning out a box, though I was pretty good about doing that with everything when I was unpacking.

Kill Bill Vol 2. I have Vol 1. In fact, I didn't realize this was missing until this Friday when I went to watch Vol 1, and realized Vol. 2 wasn't next to it as it should be. Alas, these must all be replaced after one final go through of every little nook and cranny, but these items certainly are not in an logical location.

Song: "Case Jones" - Grateful Dead

I'm a lazy bum

Yep, its 10:30 on a Saturday night, in NYC and I'm home. Last night I had decided that I would go out tonight and try to find somewhere to do karaoke (yeah, I'm a dork, but I got hooked in CT). I wanted to do this for several reasons. First, I only know 2 people in the city (that I've contacted), and one of those is moving in 2 weeks. Second, I've decided that everyone I work with sucks, so I'm just going to go meet people on my own, and karaoke was a good medium for this. However, after walking around in the rain earlier today, I kinda lost all motivation to leave my apartment, even though the rain stopped hours ago. I actually had the thought of contacting a certain individual instead of just stalking her through her blog, but decided that by football season our paths would probably cross.


In other news, congrats to the Univeristy of Wisconsin (my mom's alma mater) for winning the Frozen Four. That game was a helluva lot better than the Men's basketball championship, that's for damn sure.

Take a stand?

There are many worthy causes out there that are worthy of a demonstration, and as a Republican, I'm against most of them. However, I do see the merit in hearing an alternative point of view. Now this being said, if protesting spelling bees is what you feel your time is best spent doing, it is seriously time to take a step back, and reevaluate your life.

Feminist Ha Ha

When I got to my apartment building, there were 2 other tenants, along with 2 guys from Fresh Direct delivering groceries all arriving at the same time. One of the tenants was a woman who was wearing scrubs. As the Fresh Direct guys were leaving to make their delivery, once of them decided that was a good time to strike up a conversation with the woman.

"So, are you a nurse?"

"Actually, I'm a doctor."

BAM! Talk about a rejection. The three of us remaining were all grinning on the way up to the top floor. It was highly entertaining.

Now, in all honesty, I would have guessed that she was a nurse. I would have put her at about 28, which I guess is a reasonable to have obtained an MD at, but my first impression was that she was too young to be a doctor. Also, whenever I had to go to a doctor's office for a required physical, the doctors (aside from always being male) always wore pants, a collared shirt, and a tie, while the nurses all wore scrubs of some sort. Now, the Columbia Medical Center effectively being next door, I would surmise that she is probably some sort of surgeon, and probably in residency, which makes the scrubs make a lot more sense. It also makes me glad that I elected not to say anything so I can kick back and laugh at other people's embarrassment.

Opening Day

I'm going to miss having TV at my desk. That was a definite perk of working in Bristol. There was always so much baseball.

For you Yankee Haters, this is entertaining.

An interesting fact about living in New York. There are people in the world who legitimately care about the Mets. Growing up in CT, everyone either rooted for the Red Sox, or the Yankees. Occasionally you'd find that weird guy in the corner of a room that rooted for the Mets, but no one really paid attention to him. In 4 years of college Kat was the only Mets fan I came across, and I wouldn't consider her particularly passionate about them. I did know 2 when I was working in Bristol, but finding a sports fan at ESPN is like finding a college student on a university campus, its really just not that surprising.

Anyway, here in NY, I'd say its like 60/40 Yankees and Mets. The Mets fans seem to hold their own. I'd never really seen them in significant numbers. I just looked at them as the other NY team. People actually don a significant amount of Mets regalia.

Anyway, CBS has finished with their pomp and circumstance and the National Championship game has started. I'll have another post after the game (though it will probably have almost nothing to do with it.)