Subway Etiquette and Yellow Rain

This is a public service announcement to those who take the subway. (There is probably only one person who reads this blog that even takes a subway, but whatever). During rush hour (which is like 80% of the time I'm taking the subway), you cannot walk one step into the train and stop in order to claim the "prime real estate" by the door. There are still 10 people behind you who need to get on this train and go to work. Also, this phenomenon only seems to occur with two people. Never does there seem to be just one person being a complete jackass, always two there are. As one of the subway riders who understands that one must move all the way into the train in order to let other people on, I get highly annoyed by this. Also, when one is coming to a stop, particularly a stop where there is a high volume of people both exiting and entering (i.e. Columbus Circle), you must be prepared to move quickly and allow those who were considerate of others getting on the train to get off.

Now allow this to be a warning to you. As considerate as I am to others who want to get on, I have no qualms about decking you to get off. IF you are retarded and have a peg leg, and you're my damn way, I will knock you over and finish what Darwin clearly started, and I can assure that I won't feel any guilt about it.


In other news, it rains urine in New York City. I discovered this early this week when I went to put on pants that I wore out in the rain Saturday night, and discovered odd yellow stains on the front of the pants. Needless to say I decided not to wear those to work. This got me thinking to back when I was a child and I wondered how God made it rain. My working theory (you know, when I was like 5) was that it was the angels peeing. (I think I may have had a more disturbed childhood than I initially realized.) Apparently 20ish years later, this theory seems to be finally (and unfortunately) holding some merit.