I hate runners
"Run for fun" is a concept that is completely beyond my comprehension. The list of things that I would do before running include such items, but are by no means limited to stabbing myself, jumping out a 3rd story window and participating in ultimate fighting. What really pisses me about runners is that they seem to have this compulsion to do their running at the ass crack of dawn, and if there's something I hate more than running, its morning people.
Now the reason for this bitter post is the 5k that was run this morning up here in Washington Heights. From at at least 9-11 there were a bunch of people outside screaming and making noise ruining my beauty sleep. C'mon people its a distance race, its even more boring than auto racing. At least there is a chance for a crash and explosions and shit to go flying there. That's something worth getting excited over.
Also, its fucking March. Why do you want to run first thing in the morning? Would waiting until like noon when it might be a bit more comfortable be a more ideal time for running? Hmmmm? The only running that is mildly interesting is a sprinting because close and its quick. Now I know I have no power to stop people from running, but I do have an idea to make things more interesting in a distance race. This will even add a true element of strategy that I'm sure the few runners still reading this will claim exists already. My thought would be that at random points during would get attacked in different ways. At one point they could be like pelted with footballs. At another you could have people come out and try to just body check the runners (running the gauntlet was always one of my favorite hockey drills). You could also have a point they have to battle people with melee weapons, so instead of handing the runners water as they go by you hand them like a club or a bow. You could also incorporate a team concept into this as you want to run in a pack to defend yourself, or have certain members of a team try and take the hits to defend the better runner. Don't tell me you love watching this on TV.
posted by ndheathen @ 12:29 PM
5 people have left me some love
5 Comments:
That would actually be awesome.
Actually I am running a 10K on Saturday in March in the cold, and although I may hate running. I don't personally shit on what someone finds enjoyable. Like maybe I could say that listen to a glee club is like putting your eyes out with hot pokers? And not to mention, I am doing a distance race in June that will have thousands of screaming people, that will mean a lot to me, and its for something worthwhile. Like raising money for cancer.
Running in the early morning makes sense in warmer climate or in really hot summers. But March early morning where you are? Dumb.
Really, the excitement in distance running is all on those who run.
A real steeplechase (not on a track) could have some spectator amusement (watching runners fail to clear the fences and incur crazy injuries).
Kris, I don't know if what you say about the glee club is really that offensive. Sometimes listening to the glee club is objectively like putting your eyes out with hot pokers (i.e. Prayer from Lohengrin outside).
Paul- I was just pointing out that we all have things in life that we love that others may not neccessarily like or agree upon. But that we should take into consideration and perhaps try walking a mile in someone's shoes before we judge.
Yes, Kris, I know. I was just pointing out in a joking manner that even a glee clubber realizes that the glee club on occasion sucks.
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