Don't Green Light the Drunk Dial

So, at Kat's birthday party last week, I ran into someone who was apparently good friends with one of my best friends from school, Katie. During our brief conversation she mentioned that she was going on a Vegas trip with Katie and other Pangborn girls, and I told her that Katie "totally had to drunk dial me" while she was there, or something like that. Impressively (and unfortunately), this message actually got to Katie. I'm guessing that girl didn't have much to drink if she actually remembered to tell her friend that some random guy she met at a party asked for a drunk dial.

Now, I'm don't exactly remember when during the course of the evening this request occurred, but I thought it was relatively early and that I wasn't that drunk yet. However, looking back on the situation, I was clearly experiencing sub-par logic (hey Garrett, there's a 3 hour time difference from New York to Vegas), and this can probably be tied to a relative lack of sobriety as well.

Well, Friday and Saturday night this request came back to bite me in the ass. I was not totally aware of the fact that the Vegas trip was this weekend, though I discovered this when my phone started ringing at 2:30 am Friday night. I had gone to bed at 2 (a respectable weekend hour) after probably the best week I have had since moving to the city, and I was in need of some serious sleep. Well, when I heard the phone ring at 2:30, I decided to give it a shot and get out of bed to at least see who it was, and I still had enough of my wits to put the pieces together when I saw Katie's name on my phone. I elected to not answer and go back to bed, and get some glorious sleep until my Uncle called me at 11:30. Like I said, I needed some sleep.

I called Katie back in the afternoon, but didn't hear anything from her so I figured that I had received the obligatory drunk dial, and that I was in the clear. After spending the afternoon at my Uncle's in NJ I returned to my apartment at about 11:30, and dicked around for a while before accepting that fact that I'm a loser with no social life, and went to bed at 1. At 4:30 am my phone rings again. I don't even have to get out of bed to know that it's Katie. She leaves a message and I go back to sleep. Two hours later my phone rings again. Grr.... Hopefully she'll just go away and I can go back to sleep.

Unfortunately Katie was feeling determined this time, and decided to keep trying to call. Knowing this is a battle I've already lost, I crawl my ass out of bed and answer my phone. (Note to self, maybe I should put my phone on vibrate when I go to bed.) In my grunting tone (since that's really all I'm capable of at 6:30 am) I converse briefly with Katie, and then go back to bed. Unfortunately now, I’m about an hour away from my normal weekly scheduled wake up time, and so my body is starting to think, "Hey, lets wake up now!" I manage to fight this and go back to sleep until 10:30 when my phone rings AGAIN. This effectively acts as an alarm, and I really can't force myself to go back go sleep at 10:30. I crawl out of bed to see that Katie has left me another message (only this one was sober-ish).

So, now I need to set down some ground rules for the drunk dialing of Garrett. If I ever request a drunk dial, check with me again later to make sure I was sober when I put in said request. A great idea drunk isn't necessarily (and in fact probably isn't) a great idea sober. Also, I need to know the relative timing of things. 1:30 is a relatively acceptable time for a drunk dial, however, 1:30 in Vegas is 4:30 here, and unless I'm having wild marathon sex (a man can dream can't he?), I'm not going to be awake then, ever. Regardless of whether or not I'm having marathon sex, I don't want anyone to be calling me then. Now if the preceding two qualifications do end up being met, and I say "Yes, drunk dial me" someone please smack upside the head and tell me I'm a moron, and that I'll later regret agreeing to this. Thank you.